Ok... so actually it was neither. But it was a buttload of stress.
I got very little sleep last night due to being up the whole night with really bad cramps. So when I awoke at 7:30 (for the 5th or so time) I was tired but excited to get ready. I was supposed to be on the woship team this morning for church (just singing) and was a little bit nervous because we hadn't practiced yet. So I went and got ready and the first mishap happened. This wasn't a big deal or anything but my hair and makeup simply refused to look good today. I couldn't make them work. And as any girl knows this can pretty much put you into a funk all day. So I was a little fed up with that when I got a series of text messages that pretty much stressed me out of my head.
To summerize the texts, the worship leader was very very sick and all of our skilled guitarist/singer/leaders were unable to play today. Since I have (MINOR) piano skills and very awesome (allthought today they were really off) singing skills they wanted me to LEAD worship, without any practice or advance knowledge. So I did. When I was driving to my worship leader's house to pick up some music my car also decided to spazz out and make gross noises. Now PRAISE GOD that it is no longer doing that but it really spazzed me out.
When I got to the church it was only me and our wonderful drummer Keegan. We couldn't figure out how to work the soundboard so we had to call in our amazing sound guy Chase. After about a half hour of me spazzing out trying to improv the songs our basist Daniel showed up and about 15 minutes before church Daniel switched from bass to vocals (thankfully he is a wonderful singer) and Chris (our great guitarist) and Tai (who is good at pretty much any instrument, but today was on the bass) came in and we got in a little bit of practicing.
So we prayed that God would bring things together, and while it wasn't a super good performance it came together and considering the circumstances it was pretty good. But I almost had a mental breakdown from all the stress. I was confused at why I was so stressed at somethign that wouldn't normall mess with me until I remembered the whole PMS thing which explained the random crying and being overly stressed. But through that wonderful moring God taught me a couple important things.
1. No matter how hard you plan, you can't plan for everything
I had been so careful last night to plan for everything. I got my breakfast prepared, I had my makeup and hairthings laid out, my outfit hung on the back of my door; all so I wouldn't have any stress this morning. But God had other things in store and was simply saying, trust me. God had it all under control the whole time.
2. I am NOTHING without God.
The idea that I could do anythign that happened this morning on my own is crazy. I am not super skilled at worship leading, but apparently God wanted me to do it today. But without God none of that would have happened.
3. I have friends who are there to cover for me.
It might mean nothing to anyone else but moving Daniel to vocals totally saved my life. I am VERY hard to sing with unless I am very focused on trying to blend. I have a great solo voice and can harmonize well but when I am singing the same thing as someone else I tend to be obnoxious and annoying. Thankfully Daniel knows me well enough to know that. Also I wasn't prepared to LEAD. That wasn't something I was used to. Simply having him there to bail me out when I forgot to say "You may be seated" or something meant a lot.
4. Feelings mean nothing
As I said before, I was spazzing beyond belief. Random crying fits, so stressed I was going to puke, ect. But these feelings reflected nothing about the situation, they only reflected a hormonal imbalance. Philipians 4:8 says "Whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is honorable, whatever is excellent and worthy of praise think on these things". Nothing that I was feeling was TRUE to the situation. They weren't pure, lovely, or honorable. They weren't worth thinking about.
5 God doesn't wait for you to be ready to serve Him.
God doesn't wait until you are rehearsed. God doesn't wait for you to know the whole Bible. God doesn't even give you advanced notice. God just says serve. God called me WAY off guard this morning but was still able to use me to serve Him. If I had been picking I would have said to wait until I had practiced, or to wait until I learned to play better, or to wait until.... But God wanted me THEN, So I did.
Anyway... It's been an eventful morning. But GOd is good. And I can only hope today gets better
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