Almost a year later, I finally get it. :) This website came up on facebook:
http://dtr.lovingonpurpose.com/
It was meant for young adults who are either in relationships or who are preparing to be in them. As I was reading through the introduction one sentence struck me, it was that this series is meant to impart COURAGE. Courage to either move forward in a relationship or the courage to walk away. And it was the courage to walk away part that really stuck with me.
Last year I was obsessed with being in a relationship. I wanted to just be with someone for the popularity, security, and friendship it brought. But there was no future for it. It was just for fun. I didn't realize that in every aspect of every relationship (with family, freinds, ect) you share a little bit of yourself. In order for a relationshp to grow you have to share more and more. Sharing your hopes, dreams, veiws about God, time together, ect. But you share peices of yourself. And if you aren't careful you can end up in a place that is not a good place for you to be.
Last school year / summer I had a friendshp with a guy that was growing very fast. We clicked very well and had some great times together.But I was completely unaware. Before I knew it I found us very close and in a place emotionally where I was not prepared to be. I was young, and I wanted a relationship for all of the wrong reasons. However, I wasn't the one to realize this. The friend of mine who was equally as young was the one to realize that this was not a good place for us to be. I can't tell you what he was thinking but I am assuming that somewhere in that line it took him a lot of courage. Even if it was only because I was just a little emotionally unstable at the time. But it was a very good decision.
This brings me to the title, loving on purpose. Maybe it is just because I am geting older and begining to understand life better but I know that for most of my life I didn't love on purpose. I loved because it was what everyone else was doing, because it gave you a social status, because it felt right; But I was not looking at it as what God designed any sort of community for. God wants us to be able to expeirience his love and qualties in the community of frienships and relationships. And the idea of loving on purpose, the purpose that God designed is so freeing.
Thursday, March 31, 2011
You never know what you've got till it's gone
This summer I kept a detailed journal from graduation day until mid August. I love looking back at old diaries and figuring out what my life was like at a certain point in time. As I was looking through I realized that I had a very interesting relationship with a friend. Let me share with you one of the entries.
• 06/19/10 – Saturday: After a long night of tossing and turning on the tent floor,(I was camping with some friends at the time) I wake up and pack up to leave. After I’m packed up I eat breakfast and head out to go rafting. When we start out rafting I am sharing a boat with Zac (my little brother). For the first four hours we float down the river having fun and Zac and I have a blast. We stop for lunch and Zac, Daniel and I play in the water. It was great. We loaded back up and stopped after an hour or so to try to find petro glyphs. We failed, but it was a nice little river walk. Then Daniel tells Zac he wants to switch boats with him so that he can spend more time with me. It’s cute. Daniel and I take off down the river. We have many adventures over the next six hours including getting lost, having the boat get a hole in it, swimming down the river, getting scraped up and bruised from the rocks in the river, and just goofing off together. By the end I am so tired and cold and hurt. (I got a really bad burn on my leg that I had to take intense medicine for for a couple of weeks afterwards. Almost a year later I have three scars from that day) Daniel says nice stuff about me being cute and pretty. When we FINALLY get out of the river we pile into the mini-van so we can shuttle us back to the two cars. Daniel, Zac and I are squished in the back. My hip is bruised so it hurts so badly. Daniel puts his arm around me and tells me it will be ok. The pain gets worse so I lean into his bare chest and he kisses my head. I turn away to the window to ease the pain and he rubs my back. We ride the long way home and after apologizing for not sitting in the back with me he gives me a hug, kisses my head, and says that he loves me. We get back to mount and I drive home. He texts me good night and says that he loves me.
Honestly, it wasn't until I read that and other entries like it from the summer that I realized just how close I was with him. I mean I was obviously crushing as you can tell from the twist on this entry but I never realized how special our relationship was, even if neither of us really meant for it to be. And now to the title of this post; "You never know what you've got till it's gone" Daniel and I are still close friends but our relationship is VERY different than it was during this blog post. And I never realized how special it really was until well, it's gone. But I know that when God closes one door he opens another. God used a special time in my life to open me up to people and to show me important things about myself. While I loved that time in my life and miss it with all my heart, if that's not what God has for me than that is not what God has for me. The fact is that God has something great in store for me and I just get to wait to find out about it. But I do miss one of the best times of my life. You never fully know what you had until it's gone.
• 06/19/10 – Saturday: After a long night of tossing and turning on the tent floor,(I was camping with some friends at the time) I wake up and pack up to leave. After I’m packed up I eat breakfast and head out to go rafting. When we start out rafting I am sharing a boat with Zac (my little brother). For the first four hours we float down the river having fun and Zac and I have a blast. We stop for lunch and Zac, Daniel and I play in the water. It was great. We loaded back up and stopped after an hour or so to try to find petro glyphs. We failed, but it was a nice little river walk. Then Daniel tells Zac he wants to switch boats with him so that he can spend more time with me. It’s cute. Daniel and I take off down the river. We have many adventures over the next six hours including getting lost, having the boat get a hole in it, swimming down the river, getting scraped up and bruised from the rocks in the river, and just goofing off together. By the end I am so tired and cold and hurt. (I got a really bad burn on my leg that I had to take intense medicine for for a couple of weeks afterwards. Almost a year later I have three scars from that day) Daniel says nice stuff about me being cute and pretty. When we FINALLY get out of the river we pile into the mini-van so we can shuttle us back to the two cars. Daniel, Zac and I are squished in the back. My hip is bruised so it hurts so badly. Daniel puts his arm around me and tells me it will be ok. The pain gets worse so I lean into his bare chest and he kisses my head. I turn away to the window to ease the pain and he rubs my back. We ride the long way home and after apologizing for not sitting in the back with me he gives me a hug, kisses my head, and says that he loves me. We get back to mount and I drive home. He texts me good night and says that he loves me.
Honestly, it wasn't until I read that and other entries like it from the summer that I realized just how close I was with him. I mean I was obviously crushing as you can tell from the twist on this entry but I never realized how special our relationship was, even if neither of us really meant for it to be. And now to the title of this post; "You never know what you've got till it's gone" Daniel and I are still close friends but our relationship is VERY different than it was during this blog post. And I never realized how special it really was until well, it's gone. But I know that when God closes one door he opens another. God used a special time in my life to open me up to people and to show me important things about myself. While I loved that time in my life and miss it with all my heart, if that's not what God has for me than that is not what God has for me. The fact is that God has something great in store for me and I just get to wait to find out about it. But I do miss one of the best times of my life. You never fully know what you had until it's gone.
Tuesday, March 29, 2011
Bathsheba's Side of the Story
I bet if Bathsheba were to read through the story of David in the bible she would be a little bit more than pissed off the entire time. Not because of the stories, but because of what that guy did to her. I mean this is the scum of a man who went all peeping tom on her then decided he was going to sleep with her whether she liked it or not. He got her pregnant and tried like crazy to cover it up. He forbid her from telling her husband the truth. Then after he couldn't cover it up any other way he killed her husband. He killed the man she loved. Then he added her to his arsenal of wives and because of his terrible act, her child had to be killed. And yet this guy who I am sure at some point she had to despise is at the core of the Bible. He is even called a man after God's own heart. But I don't know about you but looking at that I and I am gussing Bathsheba had a pretty hard time calling someone who would do those thigns a man. I mean David didn't even apologize to her. And even if he had that is a serious load of emotional trauma that poor girl is stuck with. How could God still be with this guy? And how could God really care about Bathsheba and love David at the same time? Maybe she just wasn't worth as much? So I am digging into God's word to find answers. Does God care about what she went through? Does God value her? I am honestly quite conflicted and need scriptural and historical fact to solve this.
Thursday, March 24, 2011
Sacrifice
It is so hard for me to envision what Christ did for us. It is so hard for me to grap even the thought of an average person sacrificin anything for anyone else. But recently God has shown me his heart in men that I admire. He is showing me in the smallest way what it looks like to give your life for something.
Three men come to my mind when I think about this, the first is the husband of one of my mother's friends. My mom's friend Jessica* found herself seriously dating one guy and sleeping with another. She was in her early twenties and made some mistakes. However when she decided to stop sleeping with the other guy and confess it all, she found herself pregnant. She was not going to abort this baby due to the fact that her mother almost aborted her and her religious convictions. However she was stuck.
I had always thought about this story from her perspective, but never from that of her husband. Honestly, what woudl you do? You are a male in his early to mid twenties, a good christian guy who has been seriously dating this girl whom you love. You not only find out that she has been cheating on you, but she is pregnant with another man's baby. you have been waiting, taking things slowly, and eventually wanted to have your own family with this girl. What would you do? I would expect most guys to simply leave. After all, she cheated on you. And you have no reason to give up your life to raise a baby you had no part in. But that is not what this guy did.
He married her. they were soon married and he was there as she gave birth to the baby and he has been there for all of the baby girl's life. He raised her as her own and now she is in her teenage years and he is the only father she has ever known and he loves her just like his own. Even though they had a rough start, he gave his life to these two girls. But that wasn't where the hardship ended. When they were finally able to have thier own child a few years later, thier son was born with several problems which required LONG surgeries, extensive time in the Nicu and a very lowly predicted life expentency. And even if he lived it would be endless doctor's visits, and never walking, and nothing good could come of it. I woudl think that after that time this poor man would just give up. But He didn't. He trusted God for the outcome and gave of himself. Several years later this boy is in his young teenage years, walking, still small with some health issues, but he is doing things just like a normal boy. Praise God that thier third child was a beautiful and healthy girl. I have often thought about this family as one that I admire but I had never thought about it from his perspective. And I really admire him.
Another man I think of who has given his life for his family is a friend of mine's dad. While he had a great start, marrying the girl of his dreams and having three beautiful children together, with the first two even being twins. However there was a cog thrown into the game. Thier fourth child was born with Downs Syndrome. I know so many guys who would have just left there. Or tried to put the child in a home, or something. But he didn't. He loved this child and that little boy is one of the sweetest people I know. But that wasn't the hardest thing for this family. More recently this man's wife was diagnosed with cancer and cofined to a wheelchair because of it. I know a lot of people who might have left at this point. Or atleast resented having to take care of her. But he didn't. His love for her is stronger than ever. He does everything he can to care for her and work to provide for thier family.
The third man I think of is another one of my friend's fathers. He married a woman who already had two children, stuck with her while her children were in and out of drug addictions and jail, he stuck with her through her mental illness. He is a strong man who gave his life for his family and for the woman he loved.
While none of these men are perfect I believe they honestly portray the verse where it says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. This love is seen often in women but far too rarely in men. But I see these sacrifices and this love that they have and I have hope. And I am able to see a simple picture of how Christ cares for me. No matter what I do, no matter what happens, he doesn't leave and he gives his life for me.
Three men come to my mind when I think about this, the first is the husband of one of my mother's friends. My mom's friend Jessica* found herself seriously dating one guy and sleeping with another. She was in her early twenties and made some mistakes. However when she decided to stop sleeping with the other guy and confess it all, she found herself pregnant. She was not going to abort this baby due to the fact that her mother almost aborted her and her religious convictions. However she was stuck.
I had always thought about this story from her perspective, but never from that of her husband. Honestly, what woudl you do? You are a male in his early to mid twenties, a good christian guy who has been seriously dating this girl whom you love. You not only find out that she has been cheating on you, but she is pregnant with another man's baby. you have been waiting, taking things slowly, and eventually wanted to have your own family with this girl. What would you do? I would expect most guys to simply leave. After all, she cheated on you. And you have no reason to give up your life to raise a baby you had no part in. But that is not what this guy did.
He married her. they were soon married and he was there as she gave birth to the baby and he has been there for all of the baby girl's life. He raised her as her own and now she is in her teenage years and he is the only father she has ever known and he loves her just like his own. Even though they had a rough start, he gave his life to these two girls. But that wasn't where the hardship ended. When they were finally able to have thier own child a few years later, thier son was born with several problems which required LONG surgeries, extensive time in the Nicu and a very lowly predicted life expentency. And even if he lived it would be endless doctor's visits, and never walking, and nothing good could come of it. I woudl think that after that time this poor man would just give up. But He didn't. He trusted God for the outcome and gave of himself. Several years later this boy is in his young teenage years, walking, still small with some health issues, but he is doing things just like a normal boy. Praise God that thier third child was a beautiful and healthy girl. I have often thought about this family as one that I admire but I had never thought about it from his perspective. And I really admire him.
Another man I think of who has given his life for his family is a friend of mine's dad. While he had a great start, marrying the girl of his dreams and having three beautiful children together, with the first two even being twins. However there was a cog thrown into the game. Thier fourth child was born with Downs Syndrome. I know so many guys who would have just left there. Or tried to put the child in a home, or something. But he didn't. He loved this child and that little boy is one of the sweetest people I know. But that wasn't the hardest thing for this family. More recently this man's wife was diagnosed with cancer and cofined to a wheelchair because of it. I know a lot of people who might have left at this point. Or atleast resented having to take care of her. But he didn't. His love for her is stronger than ever. He does everything he can to care for her and work to provide for thier family.
The third man I think of is another one of my friend's fathers. He married a woman who already had two children, stuck with her while her children were in and out of drug addictions and jail, he stuck with her through her mental illness. He is a strong man who gave his life for his family and for the woman he loved.
While none of these men are perfect I believe they honestly portray the verse where it says husbands love your wives as Christ loved the church. This love is seen often in women but far too rarely in men. But I see these sacrifices and this love that they have and I have hope. And I am able to see a simple picture of how Christ cares for me. No matter what I do, no matter what happens, he doesn't leave and he gives his life for me.
Monday, March 7, 2011
A stranger's kind words
Tonight I reached out.
Tonight I wrote an email to a stranger. Today I told someon about the silly mundane problem that was plauging my heart and really tearing me down. Not the big issues, not the brokeness, just the silly little things we call life. This is what she wrote back.
You honestly remind me a lot of myself.
But I'm also 18, and my best friend is a just-turned 18 year old boy in high school, who I'm madly in love with.
I've been where you've been. And it's hell. I woke up every morning thinking exactly what you're thinking: "If he can't love me, who will? Who can I depend on if not him?"
I'm not going to tell you that there will always be other boys. Because I know that won't mean a damn thing to you. He's all you want, all you need. He makes it easier just to live, to breathe, to BE.
But if you're as madly in love with him as I am with mine, I can honestly say that friendship isn't a good plan. Because you'll know you're not his everything. And that will eat you alive for the next forever. You need to find the strength to move beyond him.
This boy of mine is my boyfriend. We started dating last February. But in October, he left me. For another girl. And it destroyed me. And I felt like if I couldn't rely on him to be my everything, well then who could I rely on? But that changes. And it takes a LOT of time, and effort, and a lot of lies to yourself. You have to make yourself believe that you don't ACTUALLY need him like you think you do. And after a while, you start to believe it.
But there's something you don't need to lie about: You ARE worth someone's time. You're worth EVERYONE'S time. And just because that boy doesn't like you, doesn't mean others won't. You're beautiful. You're intelligent. You're deep. All you need to do is find the people who can and will appreciate that. And you'll find them.
My advice? Maybe try not talking to each other for a couple of weeks. If you're falling for him, and he isn't falling right there with you, maybe wean yourself off of him. Talking to him will only make it worse.
It helped me. Maybe it'll do the same for you.
And again, Tori, you're a wonderful person. You'll never be "just second best". Not to everyone. There's someone out there waiting for you to take that "top priority" ranking in their listing. Go find him and end his search.
:) <3
Even though she doesn't fully understand the situation, and how God plays a huge part in mine and how I can't possibly move on; just knowing that I am not alone helps so much. Just knowing that some stranger cared enough to write me back. That changes things
Tonight I wrote an email to a stranger. Today I told someon about the silly mundane problem that was plauging my heart and really tearing me down. Not the big issues, not the brokeness, just the silly little things we call life. This is what she wrote back.
You honestly remind me a lot of myself.
But I'm also 18, and my best friend is a just-turned 18 year old boy in high school, who I'm madly in love with.
I've been where you've been. And it's hell. I woke up every morning thinking exactly what you're thinking: "If he can't love me, who will? Who can I depend on if not him?"
I'm not going to tell you that there will always be other boys. Because I know that won't mean a damn thing to you. He's all you want, all you need. He makes it easier just to live, to breathe, to BE.
But if you're as madly in love with him as I am with mine, I can honestly say that friendship isn't a good plan. Because you'll know you're not his everything. And that will eat you alive for the next forever. You need to find the strength to move beyond him.
This boy of mine is my boyfriend. We started dating last February. But in October, he left me. For another girl. And it destroyed me. And I felt like if I couldn't rely on him to be my everything, well then who could I rely on? But that changes. And it takes a LOT of time, and effort, and a lot of lies to yourself. You have to make yourself believe that you don't ACTUALLY need him like you think you do. And after a while, you start to believe it.
But there's something you don't need to lie about: You ARE worth someone's time. You're worth EVERYONE'S time. And just because that boy doesn't like you, doesn't mean others won't. You're beautiful. You're intelligent. You're deep. All you need to do is find the people who can and will appreciate that. And you'll find them.
My advice? Maybe try not talking to each other for a couple of weeks. If you're falling for him, and he isn't falling right there with you, maybe wean yourself off of him. Talking to him will only make it worse.
It helped me. Maybe it'll do the same for you.
And again, Tori, you're a wonderful person. You'll never be "just second best". Not to everyone. There's someone out there waiting for you to take that "top priority" ranking in their listing. Go find him and end his search.
:) <3
Even though she doesn't fully understand the situation, and how God plays a huge part in mine and how I can't possibly move on; just knowing that I am not alone helps so much. Just knowing that some stranger cared enough to write me back. That changes things
Sunday, March 6, 2011
It was the best of time, it was the worst of times...
Ok... so actually it was neither. But it was a buttload of stress.
I got very little sleep last night due to being up the whole night with really bad cramps. So when I awoke at 7:30 (for the 5th or so time) I was tired but excited to get ready. I was supposed to be on the woship team this morning for church (just singing) and was a little bit nervous because we hadn't practiced yet. So I went and got ready and the first mishap happened. This wasn't a big deal or anything but my hair and makeup simply refused to look good today. I couldn't make them work. And as any girl knows this can pretty much put you into a funk all day. So I was a little fed up with that when I got a series of text messages that pretty much stressed me out of my head.
To summerize the texts, the worship leader was very very sick and all of our skilled guitarist/singer/leaders were unable to play today. Since I have (MINOR) piano skills and very awesome (allthought today they were really off) singing skills they wanted me to LEAD worship, without any practice or advance knowledge. So I did. When I was driving to my worship leader's house to pick up some music my car also decided to spazz out and make gross noises. Now PRAISE GOD that it is no longer doing that but it really spazzed me out.
When I got to the church it was only me and our wonderful drummer Keegan. We couldn't figure out how to work the soundboard so we had to call in our amazing sound guy Chase. After about a half hour of me spazzing out trying to improv the songs our basist Daniel showed up and about 15 minutes before church Daniel switched from bass to vocals (thankfully he is a wonderful singer) and Chris (our great guitarist) and Tai (who is good at pretty much any instrument, but today was on the bass) came in and we got in a little bit of practicing.
So we prayed that God would bring things together, and while it wasn't a super good performance it came together and considering the circumstances it was pretty good. But I almost had a mental breakdown from all the stress. I was confused at why I was so stressed at somethign that wouldn't normall mess with me until I remembered the whole PMS thing which explained the random crying and being overly stressed. But through that wonderful moring God taught me a couple important things.
1. No matter how hard you plan, you can't plan for everything
I had been so careful last night to plan for everything. I got my breakfast prepared, I had my makeup and hairthings laid out, my outfit hung on the back of my door; all so I wouldn't have any stress this morning. But God had other things in store and was simply saying, trust me. God had it all under control the whole time.
2. I am NOTHING without God.
The idea that I could do anythign that happened this morning on my own is crazy. I am not super skilled at worship leading, but apparently God wanted me to do it today. But without God none of that would have happened.
3. I have friends who are there to cover for me.
It might mean nothing to anyone else but moving Daniel to vocals totally saved my life. I am VERY hard to sing with unless I am very focused on trying to blend. I have a great solo voice and can harmonize well but when I am singing the same thing as someone else I tend to be obnoxious and annoying. Thankfully Daniel knows me well enough to know that. Also I wasn't prepared to LEAD. That wasn't something I was used to. Simply having him there to bail me out when I forgot to say "You may be seated" or something meant a lot.
4. Feelings mean nothing
As I said before, I was spazzing beyond belief. Random crying fits, so stressed I was going to puke, ect. But these feelings reflected nothing about the situation, they only reflected a hormonal imbalance. Philipians 4:8 says "Whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is honorable, whatever is excellent and worthy of praise think on these things". Nothing that I was feeling was TRUE to the situation. They weren't pure, lovely, or honorable. They weren't worth thinking about.
5 God doesn't wait for you to be ready to serve Him.
God doesn't wait until you are rehearsed. God doesn't wait for you to know the whole Bible. God doesn't even give you advanced notice. God just says serve. God called me WAY off guard this morning but was still able to use me to serve Him. If I had been picking I would have said to wait until I had practiced, or to wait until I learned to play better, or to wait until.... But God wanted me THEN, So I did.
Anyway... It's been an eventful morning. But GOd is good. And I can only hope today gets better
I got very little sleep last night due to being up the whole night with really bad cramps. So when I awoke at 7:30 (for the 5th or so time) I was tired but excited to get ready. I was supposed to be on the woship team this morning for church (just singing) and was a little bit nervous because we hadn't practiced yet. So I went and got ready and the first mishap happened. This wasn't a big deal or anything but my hair and makeup simply refused to look good today. I couldn't make them work. And as any girl knows this can pretty much put you into a funk all day. So I was a little fed up with that when I got a series of text messages that pretty much stressed me out of my head.
To summerize the texts, the worship leader was very very sick and all of our skilled guitarist/singer/leaders were unable to play today. Since I have (MINOR) piano skills and very awesome (allthought today they were really off) singing skills they wanted me to LEAD worship, without any practice or advance knowledge. So I did. When I was driving to my worship leader's house to pick up some music my car also decided to spazz out and make gross noises. Now PRAISE GOD that it is no longer doing that but it really spazzed me out.
When I got to the church it was only me and our wonderful drummer Keegan. We couldn't figure out how to work the soundboard so we had to call in our amazing sound guy Chase. After about a half hour of me spazzing out trying to improv the songs our basist Daniel showed up and about 15 minutes before church Daniel switched from bass to vocals (thankfully he is a wonderful singer) and Chris (our great guitarist) and Tai (who is good at pretty much any instrument, but today was on the bass) came in and we got in a little bit of practicing.
So we prayed that God would bring things together, and while it wasn't a super good performance it came together and considering the circumstances it was pretty good. But I almost had a mental breakdown from all the stress. I was confused at why I was so stressed at somethign that wouldn't normall mess with me until I remembered the whole PMS thing which explained the random crying and being overly stressed. But through that wonderful moring God taught me a couple important things.
1. No matter how hard you plan, you can't plan for everything
I had been so careful last night to plan for everything. I got my breakfast prepared, I had my makeup and hairthings laid out, my outfit hung on the back of my door; all so I wouldn't have any stress this morning. But God had other things in store and was simply saying, trust me. God had it all under control the whole time.
2. I am NOTHING without God.
The idea that I could do anythign that happened this morning on my own is crazy. I am not super skilled at worship leading, but apparently God wanted me to do it today. But without God none of that would have happened.
3. I have friends who are there to cover for me.
It might mean nothing to anyone else but moving Daniel to vocals totally saved my life. I am VERY hard to sing with unless I am very focused on trying to blend. I have a great solo voice and can harmonize well but when I am singing the same thing as someone else I tend to be obnoxious and annoying. Thankfully Daniel knows me well enough to know that. Also I wasn't prepared to LEAD. That wasn't something I was used to. Simply having him there to bail me out when I forgot to say "You may be seated" or something meant a lot.
4. Feelings mean nothing
As I said before, I was spazzing beyond belief. Random crying fits, so stressed I was going to puke, ect. But these feelings reflected nothing about the situation, they only reflected a hormonal imbalance. Philipians 4:8 says "Whatever is true, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is honorable, whatever is excellent and worthy of praise think on these things". Nothing that I was feeling was TRUE to the situation. They weren't pure, lovely, or honorable. They weren't worth thinking about.
5 God doesn't wait for you to be ready to serve Him.
God doesn't wait until you are rehearsed. God doesn't wait for you to know the whole Bible. God doesn't even give you advanced notice. God just says serve. God called me WAY off guard this morning but was still able to use me to serve Him. If I had been picking I would have said to wait until I had practiced, or to wait until I learned to play better, or to wait until.... But God wanted me THEN, So I did.
Anyway... It's been an eventful morning. But GOd is good. And I can only hope today gets better
Wednesday, March 2, 2011
I Decide :-)
Does anyone remember that Lindsay Lohan song from a few years back? If not go watch Princess Diares 2. Anyway it's not really a super good song and it's basically telling everyone off and she's going to make her own choices regardless of what anyone thinks. But the chorus randomally came to my mind today.
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
And no one gets to make my mind up I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep, who I know
I'm the one who runs my life
I decide
Considering I think we all know what happened to Lindsay recently we know that this life philosophy didn't really work out for her. But there is some truth in this song. Our choices are ours to make and we have the responsibility for them.
I know it's going to sound silly that I JUST discoverd this... but I did!
We get to chose to do things or not!
We don't have to do somethign because others are doing them, or people would be mad, or for any reason really. It's always a choice. Just because I feel one way doesn't mean that I have to act that way. I have the choice about what I do. I have the choice to when I'm pissed off drop to my knees and pray for someone or to deck them then and there. I have the choice. It's as simple as that.
But we always have to live with the consequences of our choices. But they are our choices to make.
I decide how I live
I decide who I love
And no one gets to make my mind up I decide
I decide where I go
Where I sleep, who I know
I'm the one who runs my life
I decide
Considering I think we all know what happened to Lindsay recently we know that this life philosophy didn't really work out for her. But there is some truth in this song. Our choices are ours to make and we have the responsibility for them.
I know it's going to sound silly that I JUST discoverd this... but I did!
We get to chose to do things or not!
We don't have to do somethign because others are doing them, or people would be mad, or for any reason really. It's always a choice. Just because I feel one way doesn't mean that I have to act that way. I have the choice about what I do. I have the choice to when I'm pissed off drop to my knees and pray for someone or to deck them then and there. I have the choice. It's as simple as that.
But we always have to live with the consequences of our choices. But they are our choices to make.
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