Purpose

" Look at your life and see how you have filled it's emptiness up with people. As a result they have a stronghold on you. see how they conrol your behavior by thier approval or disapproval. They hold the power to ease your loneliness with thier company, to send your spirits soaring with thier praise, to bring you down to the depth with thier critisim and rejection. take a look at yourself spending almost every waking moment of your day placating and pleasing people, whether they are living or dead. You live by thier norms, conform to thier standards, seek thier company, desire thier love, dread thier ridicule, long for thier applause, meekly submist to the guilt they lay upon you; you are terrified to go against the fashion in the way you dress or speak or act or even think." ~I forgot who wrote this but it was an awesome book.

Today I got to have a good long talk with my best friend. We are both pretty much at a point in our lives where the future lies before us. And we were talking about how we don't know how much longer God is going to keep us in this area. And the truth is I have known this for a long time. I have known that where I am now is a good thing, but I know that God doesn't want me here for long. It has become clearly evidant to me. I have have come to realize that the only thing that is keeping me here is people.

People hold so much power over us it's not even funny. We don't want to be separated from those we love, we don't want to be near those we hate, we would do anything to keep them happy. But that's not what any of it's about. I knew about halfway through last semester that God did not want me to stay in Springville with my family. God wanted me to break away from them no matter how much I love them and to trust Him. So my next step was to hold on to all my friends by moving to Ephraim. But it has become evident that while God is allowing me a beautiful time of transition, this is NOT where He wants me. And I need to be ready to just trust Him WHEREVER He leads me.

I told my friend tonight that I was just afraid to go somewhere alone. But honestly, I will never be alone. God is always with me, and I hear Him calling to me telling me to come along with Him for this ride. It's not going to be easy. There will be tears and so much more but I need time to simply grow in HIM. God has a purpose for my life. I have recenlty read excerpts from the book "Just Do Something" which seems to be about just doing something as long as it is good. But I am not sure I buy that. I believe that God has a major plan for my life and while I believe He is going to use every little thing that happens along the way, He has a masterpeice in mind. And I am going to seek that with all of my heart. I may stumble along the way but God has a plan for each moment of myl ife and I know that there is some reason I am going in to all of this.

So I have decided to not let people consume my life. Dearest friend and family, I love you. I love you with all my heart and can not think of what my life would be without you. God has placed you in my life for a reason and I thank Him every day for that. But I am not going to stay here for you any longer. That doesn't mean that I won't stay here, but I need to stop staying because I am afraid of losing you. You were never mine in the first place. And God provided for me beyond my wildest imagination when I left Massachusetts to move to Utah so why wouldn't He do that again. I love you guys but I am ready to start the wildest ride of my life, a ride full of ups and downs and twists and turns and I will always love and want to connect with you but the only person I should have roots in is Jesus Christ, my maker and king. The one who gives and takes away. The one who pours down blessings. So I'm starting this ride. NO idea where it will take me. But I'm ready to start.

I want to end with some lines from a kids song but it really makes sense here:
"I am off on the ultimate adventure. Trusting Jesus all along the way. To the truth of God's word I will surrender, as I follow Him each and every day. Over sky, under sea, in the wild, Christ with me. Here at home, around the world, His love is clear to see. Won't you come along with me on the ultimate adventure. I will train for the mission he has for me. I will trust in HIm to give the victory. As I read His word and pray He gives direction, no matter where I am from day to day. Over sky, under sea in the wild Christ with me. Here at home, around the world, His love is clear to see. Won't you come along with me on the Ultimate Adventure!"