I said no more pretending.... and now I mean it

Damn it! I am so freaking sick and tired of people acting like things are ok. BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT!!!!! Listen, I know people come from different families and have different backgrounds but I am tired of putting up with things. Cause some things HURT! I am tired of being that sweet little girl who can't actually feel anything. So here's the deal: I HURT. I'm not perfect, and sometimes the things that you say make me sick. Things like murdering a fish because he's a bully, insulting people in jest, or whatever. And the worst part about it. you act like it's all ok. Atleast fighting is real. It shows how you feel and you are forced to express all of it. You know, it's probally all just because I am a total freak but when you say something simple like shut up, you're not allowed to talk anymore I fight back, but inside I am dead. You just broke down my entire world. I don't want to be mean or a bully but you just cross the line. And then you claim to be my friend and don't even notice when I leave the room. And the worst part is I taught my brother how to do this. They cross the line so much because I never taught them where it was. I compensated for my own worthlessness by telling others they were worthless even in jest. And it HURTS. I've runined my baby brothers life because I used to be a jerk. and it just makes me SICK!!!!! The only thing that I have been able to muster up the tears to cry about in forever is a dumb fish who everyone is intent on murdering because he was a bully. And now I'm just mad! It makes me sick how society thinks that this is ok. That watching someone suffer is fun! Watching someone get annoyed is the highlight of the day. It's just simply being mean. AND I DO TAKE IT PERSONALLY!!!! It even says in the Bible that sarcasm is foolish and hurtful. and what you say makes me want to crawl up into a hole and die. Dude I am even feeling bad for Justin Beiber lately because while he isn't that great of a signer everyone just makes fun of him constantly.... and it's kind of just mean.

But the upside to this: atleast I am feeling again.