Poem/Lyrics I penned this morning at church

Fallen way too far too many times
And I can't even get back up again
There is nothing I could ever do
I am nothing, here. Unworthy to approach your feet.
But you make me worthy.

You look at me and see beauty and love.
you reach down and lift my face
clothe me in your righto=ousness
You look at me and see a precious jewel
You make me worthy


Two thousande years ago a sheperd in a feild
cast out by society and shamed
A baby came with power and might
but there was no throne for Him that night
He was born and in a manger He lay

He looks at us and sees beauty and love
He reaches down and lifts our face
He clotes us in righteousness
He looks at us and sees precious jewels
He makes us worthy

You humbeled yourself to raise me up
T there is nothing I could do to deserve your love
Reched, dispicable, unworthy is my heart
But so was the manger where you laid

You make me worthy,
You look at me and see beauty and love
You reach down and lift my face
You clothe me in righteousness
You look at me and see a precious jewel.
You make me worthy.

I said no more pretending.... and now I mean it

Damn it! I am so freaking sick and tired of people acting like things are ok. BECAUSE THEY ARE NOT!!!!! Listen, I know people come from different families and have different backgrounds but I am tired of putting up with things. Cause some things HURT! I am tired of being that sweet little girl who can't actually feel anything. So here's the deal: I HURT. I'm not perfect, and sometimes the things that you say make me sick. Things like murdering a fish because he's a bully, insulting people in jest, or whatever. And the worst part about it. you act like it's all ok. Atleast fighting is real. It shows how you feel and you are forced to express all of it. You know, it's probally all just because I am a total freak but when you say something simple like shut up, you're not allowed to talk anymore I fight back, but inside I am dead. You just broke down my entire world. I don't want to be mean or a bully but you just cross the line. And then you claim to be my friend and don't even notice when I leave the room. And the worst part is I taught my brother how to do this. They cross the line so much because I never taught them where it was. I compensated for my own worthlessness by telling others they were worthless even in jest. And it HURTS. I've runined my baby brothers life because I used to be a jerk. and it just makes me SICK!!!!! The only thing that I have been able to muster up the tears to cry about in forever is a dumb fish who everyone is intent on murdering because he was a bully. And now I'm just mad! It makes me sick how society thinks that this is ok. That watching someone suffer is fun! Watching someone get annoyed is the highlight of the day. It's just simply being mean. AND I DO TAKE IT PERSONALLY!!!! It even says in the Bible that sarcasm is foolish and hurtful. and what you say makes me want to crawl up into a hole and die. Dude I am even feeling bad for Justin Beiber lately because while he isn't that great of a signer everyone just makes fun of him constantly.... and it's kind of just mean.

But the upside to this: atleast I am feeling again.

Everyone Just Needs to be Heard

Let's face it. When it all boils down, we all just want to be heard.

This realization struck me the other day when I was reading sixbillionsecrets.com. That's a site where you can just go and post whatever secret you happen to have, depressing or happy, without any judgement. The most "liked" secrets get posted. And the one thing I noticed there was the imense amount of people who just wanted to be heard.

I think that's why this world is overflowing with facebook, myspace, twitter, texting, and everything else inbetween. We all just wanted to be heard, noticed, and have a chance to be a part of a community or something bigger than ourselves. This is how God created us to be. But I think somewhere along the way we have all gotten lost. We are screaming for love and attention through eating disorders, depression, or a multitude of other things (including litterally SCREAMING for attention). Because this world tells us we are just a gear in a massive social system. Just a mass of cells arranged by chance for no real purpose. But that is simply not true.

God created you. He created you to love and to be loved. He created you beautiful. He created you with a specific purpose in mind. God has a plan for your life greater than you could ever imagine. God didn't create you to live an ordinary life. He created you to give everything you have to Him.

God gave you special ideas and a reason to be heard. Every moment in our lives, the good and the bad, God will work together for those who love Him. So be heard.

"Please don't change, don't be afraid, that you're not wanted here, cause you're wanted here. Don't fade away, and don't hide your face, and all the lonely tears will disapear. Maybe you can't see it but I can. You are someone's work of art, just the way you are. And you're shining like the stars tonight. All the peices of your heart, and all the lovely scars, are someone's work of art, are someone's work of art."

Facebook: I Hear Ministries